What is a libido? Let’s talk about your sex drive

Sex. Believe what popular culture tells you, and you’d be led to believe it’s the only thing on our minds. The reality is that sexual desire, or sex drive, ebbs and flows from person to person. Whether you’ve got too much, not enough, or just the right amount, what we call libido can be a form of sexual dysfunction.

If you’re worried about your libido, you’re not alone. Approximately 64.7% of Australians struggle with some form of sexual dysfunction, including low libido [1]. But what is libido exactly, what does it do, and when should you worry about it?

In this guide, we discuss everything you need to know about sexual motivation and what influences it.

What exactly is libido?

Libido is basically the human sex drive. It’s how a person’s sexual desire is assessed. If we look at psychology, it’s what might be called “instinctive biological drive” for sexual intercourse [2]. In medicine, your GP might measure your libido to assess any health concerns, how you’re responding to medical treatments, or your sexual function generally.

The important point to remember is that libido isn’t static. It changes over time, but most libido issues tend to revolve around having a low libido. We’d describe this as a lack of interest in sex.

In one American study, low interest in sex was found in 14% of 18-29-year-olds, and rising to 17% after the age of 50 [3]. The problem is that actual numbers tend to vary wildly. Another study found a general range of 5-17% in men of all ages suffering from low libido [4].

What’s a ‘normal’ libido for men? 

Normal, or even average, in libido terms is a concept that doesn’t exist. What’s normal depends on individual factors, including cultural aspects. The idea of a standard, healthy sex drive in Oz is very different from what it might be in the U.S., France, or South Africa.

The problem is that so many people continually believe a range of myths and that anything that falls below a set standard means something’s wrong with you.

For example, remember the myth that men think about sex on average every seven seconds. An Ohio State University study debunks this, revealing that men think about sex just 19 times per day [5].

In short, there’s no normal because we’re all different. Only when it’s causing you distress does it become an issue.

What influences libido?

Libido in men isn’t influenced purely by one thing. It’s made up of biological and psychological factors. You could be perfectly healthy, but if you’re going through a stressful period at work, you might see your desire for engaging in sexual behaviour drop until it passes.

On the other hand, you might have a chronic condition that’s impacting your energy, sexual arousal ability, and hormone levels. This could mean you’re taking medication that has a lowered libido as a side effect. Note that low female libido is influenced by other factors, including issues like vaginal dryness and a woman's menstrual cycle.

Let’s go through what might be influencing low libido.

Biology and hormones

Testosterone is the biggest driver of libido as the primary sex hormone. Your testosterone levels drop with age, which is why younger blokes tend to have higher sex drives. An older government study indicated that around one in 200 Aussies has low testosterone [6]. Typically, your testosterone levels start dropping around age 35, with a significant drop after age 80 [7].

Beyond low testosterone, other factors can include:

• Imbalanced neurotransmitters, like dopamine and serotonin
• Lack of crucial hormones, like prolactin
• Chronic health conditions

Psychological and emotional factors

What’s on your mind? Mental health problems are a well-known issue across Oz, with around 18% of males reporting some form of issue [8]. Changes to mental state and chronic stress have massive impacts on libido.

But it’s not only about diagnosed mental health conditions. Other issues can include:

• Relationship tension
• Emotional disconnects
• Poor sleep
• Lack of exercise
• Poor diet

Prescription medications you’re taking for health reasons may also dampen your sex drive.

If you’re worried that the medication you’re taking is impacting your sexual relationships, speak to your GP about your sexual concerns and what can be done about them.

Can relationship issues affect libido?

Decreased libido doesn’t always mean there’s a problem with you physically or mentally. Sometimes, it’s about who you’re with in the first place and the dynamics between yourselves. One study found that 15% of men reported a lack of interest in sex in their relationship, with 34% of women reporting the same [9].

So, how do relationship issues lower your libido?

• No Emotional Closeness – It’s tough to feel a desire for sex when there’s no emotional closeness building that sexual connection.
• Ongoing Conflict – Arguments and tension build emotional distance, making it tougher to want intimacy. The same goes for holding onto negative feelings.
• Poor Communication – We’ve all got sexual needs. When partners don’t communicate, their needs aren’t getting fulfilled. If you’re not sexually satisfied, it’s no surprise to experience low sexual interest.
• Lack of Trust – Trust issues in your relationship are always a physical and emotional barrier, which impacts your desire to engage in intercourse.
• Being Overfamiliar – Long-term relationships breed routine by nature. Being overly familiar can result in things getting stale, making you less interested in engaging.

How is low libido diagnosed by a healthcare provider? 

Since there’s no average or typical libido, there’s no singular test or number that defines whether you’ve got a low libido. Some people need sex multiple times a week to feel satisfied, whereas others are content with once a month or not at all.

Generally, if you think you’ve got a libido problem, you’ll approach your GP and they’ll ask about issues like:

• Your symptoms
• Health
• Medications
• Sex life
• Relationships
• Stress levels
• Sexual thoughts and feelings

If there’s a medical issue at play, your doctor might give you a physical exam, blood tests, and imaging tests.

How is low libido treated?

Treatments for low libido depend on the cause. Once the cause has been identified, your GP might choose a combination of treatments to give your sexual drive a boost. Typically, there are three categories you might choose to explore:

Lifestyle changes 

Addressing habits that hurt your libido can turn your sex life around. These may include getting more exercise, adopting a healthier diet, quitting smoking, or learning how to manage stress better.

In many cases, some simple changes to your lifestyle can be transformative for improving your sexual energy and enhancing your interest.

Sexual behaviour and behavioural therapy

Your doctor might also refer you to a therapist specialising in sexual issues like reduced sexual desire, sexual abuse, and other issues like sexual fantasies. If you’re already partnered up, couples therapy might be another option. These approaches are helpful when emotional issues are at the heart of your reduced libido.

For example, you may benefit from communication techniques to help you signal your needs. If things have become stale, a therapist may show you new ways to improve your intimacy.

Medications for lowered libido

Sadly, there are few medications with real scientific evidence backing them up as genuine cures for low libido. If you’re figuring out how to boost libido naturally, some natural remedies like horny goat weed and maca root are being actively studied for their efficacy, but more sex research is needed. 

Typically, for males, few genuine medications directly address low libido. If performance anxiety is contributing to the problem, speaking with a GP can help identify safe and effective ways to manage it.

When is it more than just a libido issue?

Libido changes throughout your life are a perfectly normal part of human sexuality. However, what does it mean when low libido could indicate an underlying issue?

Seek help from a qualified medical professional if:

• You’ve felt no sexual interest for several months
• You’re not responding to sexual stimulation that once excited you
• You’re actively avoiding intimacy
• You’re experiencing fatigue, low motivation, or concentration issues
• You feel emasculated or a loss of identity because of these changes

Symptoms like these can point to underlying issues beyond sexual behaviour, such as changes to mental state, chronic stress, or imbalances requiring treatments like hormone therapy.

Libido vs. erectile dysfunction – What’s the difference between these health issues?

Low libido and erectile dysfunction aren’t the same thing. Your libido is your sex drive, whereas erectile dysfunction is a physical inability to get or hold an erection. The confusion arises because you can have one without the offer. Plus, they’re often linked through similar factors, like mental health issues or lifestyle problems.

So, what should you do if you believe you have a libido or erectile dysfunction problem that's impacting your sexual activity? The first step is approaching your GP and discussing your issues. They may suggest treatment options like lifestyle changes, Pilot’s ED treatment, or lifestyle changes.

As with all sexual health issues, the first course of action is identifying the underlying cause before coming up with a comprehensive treatment plan.

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