Ever wondered why you go from hot and heavy to half-asleep right after sex? We promise you're not alone.
Welcome to the refractory period. Though the duration of this period varies, most men experience similar feelings of tiredness, low libido, and the need to recover after sexual activity.
You probably have a few questions about this phase, which we'll do our best to answer. But, the hard truth is — the refractory period is still poorly understood. One thing we can tell you is it's a totally normal sexual response.
Here's everything you should know about the male refractory period; including what it is, why it happens, and how males and females experience this phase differently.
What is the refractory period?
The refractory period is the time after orgasm when your body isn't able to feel sexually aroused [1][2]. To put it another way, no matter how hard you try — your main member refuses to stand to attention.
Many men also report hypersensitivity and even discomfort during this time. They prefer not to have any sexual stimulation; like touching, stroking, or kissing the genitals.
While it might sound like a special form of purgatory, the refractory period is a very normal male sexual response. It's 1 of 4 recognised sex stages, which are commonly known as the sexual response cycle. These include [3]:
- Excitement stage: In this stage, your heart and blood pressure increase, and blood flows to the penis, leading to an erection.
- Plateau stage: The gradual buildup to the final act. During this stage, your breathing becomes rapid and the penis and testes swell.
- Orgasm stage: A moment of elation as all the sexual tension built in the first 2 stages is released in seconds. Orgasm typically includes ejaculation.
- Resolution stage: The final stage where your body returns to its resting state and the penis shrinks back to its normal size. This stage includes the refractory period.
Why does it happen?
Oh boy, do we have a lot to tell you. Let’s start with the not great news — scientists aren’t sure why men have a refractory period.
The good news is, there are lots of theories being passed around and investigated, so that’s what we’ll share with you here.
The pregnancy theory
Some experts believe that men have a refractory period in order to preserve sperm. Basically, it’s thought to prevent too frequent ejaculation, which helps keep your sperm levels high enough for pregnancy [4].
It’s an okay theory, but not without holes. Some men have experienced a refractory period even without orgasm, which suggests ejaculation is not the key link [1].
The chemical theories
Many researchers are exploring the connection between the refractory period and the wide variety of chemicals released in your body during sex. These include serotonin, oxytocin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin [6].
While many are seen as probable causes of the refractory period, none have been proven yet as the main cause with repeated scientific evidence.
The complicated case of prolactin
For a long time, one of the leading theories on the chemical cause of the refractory period has been the hormone prolactin. There are lots of different reasons for this, including [1][6]:
- High levels of prolactin have been linked with erectile dysfunction
- The release of prolactin is paired with dopamine, which is thought to be bad for arousal
- Some men who are deficient in prolactin have been shown to recover faster
The case for prolactin as a main cause was looking pretty good. That is, until a new study found competing evidence.
In 2021, a team of researchers took a closer look at prolactin during sex by running tests on mice. While this may sound strange, it’s actually a well-established research method for human sexuality [4].
The study included 2 tests:
- Introducing prolactin during arousal, to see if it could cause a refractory period
- Blocking prolactin release during sex, to see if it could remove the refractory period
In both tests, prolactin had no effect. The mice still had sex and in both cases, they experienced a post-ejaculatory refractory period.
So, does this mean prolactin is not the cause? Maybe, probably. It’s still hard to say.
The short answer to a very long question is, we need more research. One day, scientists might have a definitive answer to what causes the refractory period. For now, we have plenty of theories that can still help us understand the experience better.
How long does the refractory period last?
Since you’re destined to enjoy some physical downtime after sex, you might be wondering, how long will it last? That depends on the person.
Some men have a short refractory period of less than an hour. Others experience low arousal for a number of hours, while a few men can even find this period lasts for a few days [2].
Even though experiencing a refractory period is normal, you might like to check in with your doctor if yours feels especially long or uncomfortable.
What factors influence the refractory period?
Like most things to do with health, your refractory period can be affected by your lifestyle and biology. Anything from how old you are to your gender and weight could have an impact on the recovery time after sex.
Age
A lot of things in your sex life change as you grow older, from how much sex you’re having to how long your refractory period could last.
Generally speaking, older men have a longer refractory period than younger men [2]. The time difference can be quite large; with some young males ready to go again in only a few minutes, while older males might wait 12-24 hours or more.
Sexual function
There is some evidence that sexual dysfunction can make the refractory period last longer.
One study found that the refractory period for people who experience premature ejaculation (PE) was 3x higher than generally healthy males [10].
The average length of a refractory period for people with PE was 300+ minutes, compared to an average of 100+ minutes in the control group.
On the flip side, having a long refractory period (500+ minutes) was also linked to a higher risk of experiencing PE.
Type of sexual experience
Have you ever noticed that after a solo session, your recovery period is faster? That could be because of our old friend prolactin.
One study found that prolactin release after partnered sex is 400% higher than after masturbation, a result that applied equally to men and women [7].
If prolactin is in fact linked to male recovery time after sex, then this research suggests your refractory period should be shorter after a tango for one.
Gender
If your partner is female, you may have wondered how they can be keen for rounds 2, 3 or 4 so soon after finishing. Rest assured, this has nothing to do with how you perform sexually.
The truth is, women don’t experience refractory periods like men. They do feel tired and lose interest in sex for a little while, but the time period is much shorter. This is one reason females can typically achieve multiple orgasms [1][2].
Overall health
A healthy lifestyle has so many benefits — including for your sex life. One key factor to consider is your weight.
In studies of both men and women, obesity has been linked to poor sexual function. Not only can it affect your body image, but it can also impact your libido [9].
For men specifically, being overweight carries a 30% higher chance of experiencing erectile dysfunction.
The good news is that placing a priority on your health and fitness can help with your sex life. Improving your cardio fitness has been shown to help shorten the refractory period.
Another habit to ditch is smoking which is not great for your circulation, making it more difficult to get hard.
Ways to reduce the male refractory period
Needing time to recover after sex may feel frustrating, but we promise an end is in sight. There are a few things you can try to reduce your refractory period.
Treatment for erectile dysfunction (ED)
While ED treatments weren't designed for the refractory period, research has shown they can work.
A study of healthy young men using ED medical treatments to try and improve their sex life found it had little effect on their erections, since they didn’t need the help. But, it did reduce the refractory period for some [2][5].
We would never recommend using a medical treatment that you don’t need. However, if you struggle to get or maintain an erection, this could be an option. And in a bonus twist, it might help with your refractory period too.
Pilot’s ED treatment is designed to be fast and simple. It starts with an online quiz which helps our Aussie practitioners understand your needs and select a personalised treatment.
If you’re eligible, your treatment is shipped to your door in unmarked packaging with free postage Australia-wide. You also have the option for unlimited follow-ups with a Pilot practitioner, to check in on your treatment and tweak as needed.
Build up healthy habits
Like we said earlier, keeping a healthy lifestyle can have a measurable impact on your post-sex recovery time. This includes getting plenty of exercise, maintaining a healthy weight, and dropping risky habits such as smoking.
Cardio and core exercises have also been shown to be effective for reducing your refractory period [8].
Delay your orgasm
Technically, this idea won’t shorten your refractory period, but it can help delay those sleepy feelings.
The stop-start method can be used to make sex last longer by keeping you in the plateau stage, rather than orgasm and recovery.
The basic idea is this: each time you feel close to orgasm, take a pause. When you feel calm again, get back to building the tension.
Also known as edging, you can practice this technique with a partner or solo to extend your sexual experience. It can also help you get better in touch with your own arousal and learn what feels great in bed [8].
Get back into foreplay
Time flies when you’re having fun, right? Rather than watching the clock and obsessing over how long your body is taking to reset, get back into action.
This method can help you to coax your brain back into its arousal zones by removing some of the anxiety often associated with sexual performance.
You could enjoy cuddling, kissing, sexual touching, and other forms of foreplay to pass the time with your partner. We have a feeling you’ll be ready for round 2 before you know it.
Image credit: Pexels/Anastasia Shuraeva
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