We’ve all been in the throes of passion, slowly building up to a moment of shared ecstasy with a partner only to be overcome … a little early.
Premature ejaculation (or PE), where a man ejaculates during sex earlier than he or his partner would like, is a very common occurrence, with up to a third of men experiencing a hasty celebration, every now and then.
Despite being commonplace, it still hurts. So much of our ego is wrapped up in “performance”—letting the fireworks fly too quickly can leave men feeling distressed, anxious, and inadequate.
With all this in mind, if you’re someone who’s experienced this problem before, or if it’s a regular occurrence in your life, you’d probably be shocked to find there’s people out there who actually want to be quicker.
Not just a little bit quicker, but to train themselves into becoming proper Minutemen, lasting only seconds in bed.
Why? Because they find it sexually gratifying. Yep, PE can be a fetish.
RULE 34 (There is porn of it. No exceptions.)
The infamous Rule 34 of the internet dictates that if it exists, there’s porn of it. Perhaps there is no better example of that than the online fetish community built around PE.
Though there are plenty of places to find PE porn, enough that it makes up its own subgenre on Pornhub, the best example of a “community” forum is the subreddit r/prematurefetish, where members hang out, swap stories, caption erotic images with PE-related fantasies, provide training tips, share porn and talk openly and honestly about all things “PreJac”.
To gain some insight into this little-known kink, I reached out to Reddit user “SurelyPrematurely”, who not only moderates the r/prematurefetish subreddit, but also touts himself as a proud member of the “10 second club”, which is exactly what you think it is.
“The premature ejaculation fetish is when a person, of whatever sex, fetishises orgasming sooner than normal or expected,” says SurelyPrematurely.
He tells me many men are also aroused by the surprise of their partner, or the humiliation that comes with not satisfying their needs–though this isn’t a requirement.
Some people are just interested in becoming faster for experimentation purposes, or because they typically have taken too long in the past, which causes distress in and of itself.
“That’s what was happening to me,” SurelyPrematurely admits. “I simply struggled with climaxing while having sex. I did a lot of research and training, and eventually, I was able to get my average time to orgasm just under ten seconds.”
SurelyPrematurely acknowledges at its core, the fetish is masochistic, and that the idea of “ruining” his sex life is part of what excites him.
But like all things fantasy-related, it’s just that. A fantasy. He assures me that his sex life, despite his desire to ruin it, in reality is going really well.
“I have no regrets on becoming a PreJac. It has made my sex life better than I could have ever imagined,” SurelyPrematurely enthusiastically tells me.
“I recognise that the popular opinion of sex is for the man to be a jackhammer and the woman to be submissive and bent in all kinds of fun pretzel-like shapes, but sex is so much more than what pop culture defines it as”, he says. “When you pull yourself back from that notion that you need to pummel your partner with your unrelenting stamina, you can get more sensual and intimate.”
When I first started this journey down the PreJac rabbit-hole, I expected a lot of things. What I didn’t expect was down-to-earth, mature sexual insights from a fetish community moderator.
But, hey, he did say he liked to surprise people.
“Yes, most people think ideal sex is intercourse for 20 to 30 minutes or something along those lines, but is that what great sex really is?,” SurelyPrematurely asks. “You can have great sex if you only last two minutes. Hell, you can have great sex if you only last ten seconds. If you were born a premature ejaculator, don't fret.
"Sex isn't all intercourse.”
Someone for everyone
That’s all well and good, I hear you say, but isn’t it a little ... selfish? Popping the champagne early in the night might suit the man in the relationship, but what about their partner? They must have something to say on the matter.
In fact, they do.
On another subreddit (seriously, there is a subreddit for everything), women were discussing the satisfaction they feel when their partners fail to contain their excitement, suggesting the fantasy blows both ways.
One anonymous user admitted how sexy she felt when her man knocked off the job a bit earlier than expected.
“It’s weirdly such an empowering thing for me, especially because I have my own body issues that make me feel unsexy at times,” she wrote. “It feeds into this weird fantasy that I have in my head in that moment: Fuck yeah, he’s getting off this quickly because I’m a sexy fuck who can ride like no other.”
What’s more, there was near unanimous agreement among other women in the thread. This wasn’t a fetish subreddit, either. It was r/redditafterdark, where admittedly, the content is adult, but certainly not kink-focused.
Overwhelmingly, users agreed good foreplay, and crucially, great after play was instrumental to happiness in the bedroom. “As long as the fun isn’t done” was a common consensus.
Nobody seemed to mind one bit their partners climaxed early, particularly when a good sesh in the sack involved plenty of good times before and after. On the contrary, some stated how hot it was that their partner raced to the finish line with such enthusiasm.
The long and short of it
If you experience PE, now, or in the past, or anytime in the future, for that matter, the purpose of this article isn’t to encourage you into a life of kinky debauchery (unless, of course, you want to. Then lay on with abandon, I say).
All things considered, it’s a lifestyle that clearly isn’t for everyone.
That being said, for so many guys, the focus during sex is exclusively on the moment of climax. When you remove that lens, it gives you room to emphasise other things that make sex enjoyable—like bonding, intimacy, mutual pleasure, and, dare I say it, love.
That’s not to say if you’re unhappy with your timing, you shouldn’t do anything about it. In fact, you ought to talk openly and honestly about the issue with your doctor if it bothers you.
But for all its perceived downfalls, it’s worth noting how others, particularly women, really feel about PE in the bedroom.
The good news is many women clearly don’t care, and many men, like our friend SurelyPrematurely, are out there proudly having their ten seconds in heaven.